Túy Quyền IiiDrunken Master 3 (1994)

What looked like it could be a semi-fun Hong Kong flick completely devolves after 30 minutes, turning the proceedings into a banal, mind-numbingly tedious series of fights, hijinks, and unnecessary dialogue. Willie Chi is Wong Fei-Hong as young punk, who fools around incessantly and uses an abacus as a skateboard. He has to escort the would-be queen of China (professional scenery Michelle Reis) to meet up with Chinese rebels, but they first take a break at a half-way house for pregnant mothers. This film is actually worse than it sounds. Andy Lau appears as the head of the nationalist rebels, and Simon Yam has a cameo as a fey assassin. The fight sequences are okay, but everything else is just terrible. Michelle Reis glues your eyes to the screen when she’s on it, but when she isn’t you could start snoring. Willie Chi has zero charisma as Wong Fei-Hong. (Kozo 1997)